Hilda Green August 19, 1923 - September 1, 2013

My mom died today. She was 90 year old. I haven't really cried a lot. Been thinking a lot about my family especially my sister Sheila who is closer in age to me. We are five sisters. Janice, Sheila, Myra, Robin and Terry.

In Guatemala  I work with poor people who have no electricity, no water, or toilets. People who live in shacks made of tin and wood with dirt floors. People who are not always recognized by their own people as valuable. I tell them about my family history to give them hope. Today its all about my mom.

My maternal grandmother was born a slave towards the end of the civil war. She died at 100 years old in 1966. She could not read or write. Her children,  one of which was my mom's parent, were born free but could not read or write. My mother had a 12th grade education and worked as a secretary in NSA in Ft. Meade, MD. She ended her career with outstanding awards.

Her five daughters all finished High school and some studied in a junior college. Her 15 grandchildren all finished High school and some finished college and all had good jobs, homes and the majority are saved! Her 22 plus great grandchildren the majority finished college and her 10 great great grands are progressing well in school. Every generation got better. What a heritage!

I remember when I had already purchased my ticket to go to China to smuggle in Bibles back in the 80's. She was diagnosed with blockage in her veins leading to her heart and was scheduled for an emergency operation. My dad said to me " You can't go to China. People will say you have abandoned your mom." But my mom spoke up and said "Let her go. She is doing God's work." She was proud of me and that made me glad.

I remember taking vacations with them going to New York city, watching a Broadway show, eating out and hearing tales about how they met. She talked about their early years when they had their first girl, Janice. How she dressed her like a doll baby. She was their princess. She was so beautiful to them. She talked about how then came Sheila who didn't look like them at all but like her aunt. Sheila who was feisty and tried to tear my eyes out when I was born. She told me how she gave birth to me at home and how the young doctor was so proud that his first delivery was such a huge success. I weighed 9 1/2 pounds and filled the bassinet. How the neighbors came and looked at their newest child. I remember when Robin was born with dimples in her knees and how I helped to care for her as mom went off to work. She taught me how to starch and iron her ribbons and pinafores and when I had my little girl I never ironed ribbons again. I remember when Terry graduated High school and momma said "that diploma belongs to me."

I remember Christmas Eves when I was the oldest at home with two smaller siblings 11 and 13 years younger how we stayed up all night trimming the tree with ice cycles that had to be put on one by one by one until there were no spaces to be seen. She wanted everything to look perfect.

I remember rising on Saturdays, the day I wanted to sleep in, having to do my chores from washing clothes, hanging them out on the line, polishing furniture, vacuuming,  but not alone working side by side with her making our home neat and clean and presentable.

I remember taking her out to lunches after she retired and always introducing her to my friends. She was so happy because she was being acknowledged. Old age makes us some times feel useless but not my mom. She has always been a special woman.

She was a working mom from the time I was five. She did the best she could to teach us to follow her example. A woman who seldom if ever raised her voice. A woman who dressed with style and taste. A woman who kept a fine house. A woman who was a faithful companion to her husband of nearly 71 years. My mom, my friend, my lunch buddy, my reading companion, my heart. I am crying now.

"Sometimes I Cry"

The past two weeks have been especially challenging and with each challenge I stoutly said "God has the answer!"...but today was different, I just wanted to cry. I thought I had had enough. I was wrong. As I prayed with my son tonight I suddenly started to tear and cry even as I continued to pray. After I had finished he prayed and the Lord moved. It seems that we both have been in a battle and some of it was between us. I did not realize how hurt I was as I stood strong with him during the week about an issue. He acknowledged in prayer that even though he did not like my advise he knew in his heart that he was struggling and needed to heed my words. I then remembered how I can walk through things and be strong and when its over that's when I cry.

So, not only the challenge between my son and I is ended,  but all of the other  challenges I have faced  are coming to an end in Christ Jesus!

Some good things have happened. The last few weeks I have been teaching on Sunday in English and my son has been translating in Spanish? It was his idea. The comments have been impressive from old and young alike, not about my teaching,  but about his translating and how they understand the teaching.

Last Sunday a couple accepted Christ and one young woman was reconciled to Christ!

More people are attending the church services!

My 90 year old mom came home from the hospital and both parents have someone who is taking care of them at home!

In our pig project one of the ladies has sold her pig. She had raised it to a good size and weight.  She came by and gave me her tithe for the profit she had made off of the sale. She now plans to buy two pigs with the money.

I realize that I am only human and my natural self needs to expel the stress and bother of the challenges that arise. I love the song "Sometimes I Cry". It tell about a Christian who believes and stands in God but sometimes cries. Its healthy and cleansing and some of the crying is for joy.

Everything was in order

"Heal me Oh God and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved."

Jeremiah 

Sixty five has really kicked me in the rear end. My body has gone through some major changes. My sugar levels which had been under control via diet for years became unstable. My pressure which had notoriously been low rose and refused to lower. I am now on medication for both. 

One night,  after 10 episodes of vomiting and not being able to sleep due to  pain, at 3:30 AM I went to a local private hospital for  some relief... a needle or some medicine. What I received was an operation. One hundred or so stones were removed from my body as well as my gallbladder. The doctor, unbeknownst to me, was a specialist in gallbladder laser surgery. Within 5 hours of my arrival,  I was in surgery and 32 hours later I was home. Some of the stones were the size of a ping pong ball, but God....guided me to the best hospital and the best doctor to solve my problem and literally save my life.

It reminds me of another occasion when God had every thing in oder to meet a special need. Daniel and I made a day trip with some friends when he was about 4 years old. Previously he had shown signs of allergic reaction to bee stings,  but only in the area affected. That day we were at a  pool and I had glanced away from him for a moment and suddenly heard him cry. When I approached him I saw a pair of black rimmed wings pinched between his finger.

I forced his fingers open and saw 2 or 3 red bite marks on the finger. Suddenly his face and eyes became puffy and his cheeks streaked with red lines. I always carried benedryl because I also had allergic reactions to bites. I forced the pill down his throat and his symptoms calmed but only for a few moments. Suddenly his cheeks flared red again and his face and eyes swelled more than before.

It was a Sunday where usually no doctor can be found in the public hospitals in rural areas of Guatemala. We were not in our town but two hours away in another location. The bus driver of the excursion quickly and easily found a doctor at his home having dinner who generously opened his clinic to care for my son. 

On the way home, as I held my sleeping son with his still slightly puffy eyes and face, asked, "God, why did this happen? He could have died." He spoke to my heart and answered "Myra, I had everything in order to meet your every need".

How good is That! There is none good as God. 

As it was with my little Daniel so many years ago, so it was with me on June 21st when my need arose...He had everything perfectly in order! God is good!

                                                      After surgery photo

                                                         My gallbladder stones!

Risky Business

Risky Business

After being on the field and living in Guatemala for the past nearly 18 years, I am still surprised at the disappointments I sometimes experience. Even as  l work with poor people, my greatest sorrow comes from some Christian believers, the more educated and learned folks. It seems there is that mentality in some that we (missionaries) are “rich”! Ah, so where is my new car? Why am I still riding the bus or walking in the hot sun when I have so much money to ride in an air conditioned car?!?! 

This is a risky business because I must remember that we are all God’s creation and as believers we are called to be son’s. What son has not disappointed his father? 

Some may think the more  obvious disappointments  may come from the poor but I learned a lesson well when I was in a Christian camp in MN. with 10 awful ten year old Indian girls way back over 25 years ago. I went there to serve and these girls gave me much grief daily...But God said love them. I tried but one day after a really bad episode ...A pretty little girl reared back and broke wind in my face....I said self righteously, “ This is a Christian camp and I did not come here to be treated like this.” The sweet little thing said and I have never forgotten, “I am not a Christian”. I was expecting something from her she did not know how to give. The story ended well with much patience , resilience and love.  We got through the week and my 10 little Indian girls said to me “ You were so kind to us. You didn’t holler and speak mean to us.” That was God’s  love.

So in this risky business I have learned to love those who were lost but with those who say they love God and are  sons of God I have sometimes walked in disillusionment.   How He must grieve over us, his sons and daughters, who are not always walking in the light. 

Lord help me to learn this lesson you want me to take hold of. I’m not clear sometimes what it is but I know when I speak out of my flesh even when I feel justified it pricks me. Am I the one who needs to pray more and speak less? I am still learning more about me and more about Him. Every day there is a new revelation and I know that in this risky business there are no guarantees but one...He is here and He is responsible for this ministry and for this life He has called me to and I can rest in that. 

Its a new year

Its a new year but somehow it went from 2012 to 2013 without much significance to me. Oh yes, I am thankful for another year of life and health but I am thankful every day for that, the date doesn't make it any different. I did turn 65 on the 2nd of September 2012 and I do believe my life has changed a lot. My perspective on things, my concentration, my prayer life, my moods, my hopes, my desires etc. and so on.

I am thankful for the ministry that is not too big because relationship means a lot. I know everyone's name and where they live. I've seen the families change over the years, mostly for the better. I've prayed with them, agonized over their troubles with them, rejoiced in their new babies (one named after me ),  helped provide new homes, helped pay for funerals, rejoiced over their children's achievements in school, encouraged those who wanted to quit to continue and taught with tears about forgiveness of wrongs done to them.

We have 42 families that come to the ministry site for the feeding program, Women's Bible study, teen mentoring, youth programs and the church services. All of the young adults in Junior and Senior High and one going to college this year receive full scholarships. The future holds possibilities. All is possible in Christ!

Only an intimate relationship with Christ can change lives and I cherish my relationship with Him because it keeps me going. Yes, I am tired, overwhelmed, flustered at times but I go on in the strength of knowing I am just where He wants me to be. I am amazed at His love for me and feel duty bound to share that love with others. How easy can life be in Him. I am not doing the work. He is! So I take another breath, read some more of the Word, take a short nap and get up and keep going.

So happy New Year to all because that's our custom but every day is a new day in Christ, that's our reality.