A year ago today my momma died. I seem to be doing okay. I did cry last night, actually it was today at 1am, but I do that any day or night. I have learned to let my tears flow whenever they like. Its not a hard sob, its just a soft warm flow that says "mi mamma" in spanish. As I write this tears are filling my eyes but that's okay because I'm learning to live with this because this is the way it is.
In January I wrote in my journal:
"I do not know how to bear this grief. It comes as a wave that washes over everything. It hovers over me like a helicopter telling me there is danger near. What danger, death? Death is no danger when I have Christ.
What power can this grief have over me? Its a mystery. Even as I know that death is life in Christ some part of rejoices and the other part grieves over my loss. Yes, My loss! Others knew her - my mom -others loved her - my mom - BUT this is my grief - personal, intimate, visible and tangible.
Lord, how do I abide -no- how do I leave this grief behind. I want so much to abide in YOU always but this grief creeps up on me and steals my joy. How do I sorrow but also rejoice? Teach me, I pray."
Eight months later the grief does not have its power over me. The remembrance of Him storing my tears in a bottle because of His love helps me. I can both sorrow and rejoice with warm tears that don't tear me apart but flow as water washing over my soul. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers.
Its still a mystery but He is the master of miraculous mysteries.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Sunday, August 24, 2014
A Tribute to Sharon
My greatest supporter died the other day. She was a friend, a mother, a wife, a sister, and a strong believer in Christ. I first met her about 12 years again fresh faced and always smiling. I once saw her frown but even then there was a slight curve to her lips that said, I am always ready to smile again. She brought warmth to wherever she came. She came into my life through her sister Donna who volunteered with the Children's Home for over a year.
Later Sharon married and through much struggles finally started a family. What amazed me was one year she started to donate a large sum monthly to the ministry. I was blessed by her generosity but thought she may have made a year long commitment only But every year she continued and increased the amount yearly. What blessed me more than the money was the sense of encouragement she gave me in this ministry. Those who are missionaries know the struggles we face financially and spiritually. How we rely on the caprice of others when we really need to rely on God himself.
Sharon's anointing was not the money but the spirit of encouragement that accompanied her every action. She made me sense that God was for me and He was using her to send that message.
She comes from a family that loves to help and encourage. Being in touch with her family always gave me hope and comfort. She exemplified that so much. She will be sorely missed by me and I know I will see that smile again. Her smile is etched on my heart.
To her family and friends I can only offer mere words of condolence but know this that the God who loves us all is in the midst of even this loss.
Monday, August 18, 2014
A World view through God's eyes
Years ago my board said I needed to have cable so that if there was an emergency in my country or in the world I would be aware of it. Never did I think that this assess to news would become such a major part of my prayer time.
I recently changed my Face book profile picture to reflect my prayer support for Christians and other religious minorities being persecuted by Islamic terrorists. I wish there was a profile photo that could express my preoccupation with the state of our world overall.
I see in Missouri a young black man who was recently shot by a white policeman. I don't know all of the facts and have only seen snippets of the coverage. I did see the video that I believe was him boldly facing down a store clerk over a few dollars of stolen cigars. I can also see in my imagination a young boy with his arms raised, fear in eyes, pleading not to be shot. What a contrast!
I can see a man who is white pointing a guy at a "criminal" who was walking in the middle of the street thinking perhaps fearfully that "if let my guard down, he will overpower me, so I must shoot him like a wild animal or I'm a goner." I don't know!!
I only know that in the hearts of these two men there is an illusion of right and wrong that is not taught in the Bible. There is a scripture that simple says. "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul... Love your neighbor as yourself." Simple but so not real in this world.
I see a president, whom I did not vote for, but do pray for trying to please man while fighting against the wind on every hand. I pray for his heart to be softened and for forgiveness for his world view that abortion and same sex marriage is the people's right. In part he is correct but in the divine scheme of things he is so wrong.
I see another president (Guatemalan) asking for "money" from the USA to solve the problem of immigration instead of seeking the face of God for wisdom on how to overcome the disparity of the people, to change the hearts of the delinquents, to give them a future and a hope, to provide the basics of clean water, food and education for all of the people. Money is not the answer. God's wisdom and guidance is the answer.
I see men, religious men, who worship Allah and believe they have a mandate to "convert" the world to their way through murder, rape and plunder. I pray for them to have an encounter with the real God in the form of Jesus Christ.
For every situation in this world God is the answer. Not the God of our flesh that says we deserve this or that, but the God in whom we find forgiveness when we repent and the Holy Spirit who will enable us to shed His love abroad.
The times are growing darker but the light of Jesus Christ is not getting dimmer. It is burning deep into the hearts of men who are praying for the day when all of Gods people will rise up in one accord in fellowship, harmony, love, and agreement that we are His people, united in love for His purposes, so that the Kingdom of God will one day dwell forever more in our hearts, minds and souls.
I recently changed my Face book profile picture to reflect my prayer support for Christians and other religious minorities being persecuted by Islamic terrorists. I wish there was a profile photo that could express my preoccupation with the state of our world overall.
I see in Missouri a young black man who was recently shot by a white policeman. I don't know all of the facts and have only seen snippets of the coverage. I did see the video that I believe was him boldly facing down a store clerk over a few dollars of stolen cigars. I can also see in my imagination a young boy with his arms raised, fear in eyes, pleading not to be shot. What a contrast!
I can see a man who is white pointing a guy at a "criminal" who was walking in the middle of the street thinking perhaps fearfully that "if let my guard down, he will overpower me, so I must shoot him like a wild animal or I'm a goner." I don't know!!
I only know that in the hearts of these two men there is an illusion of right and wrong that is not taught in the Bible. There is a scripture that simple says. "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul... Love your neighbor as yourself." Simple but so not real in this world.
I see a president, whom I did not vote for, but do pray for trying to please man while fighting against the wind on every hand. I pray for his heart to be softened and for forgiveness for his world view that abortion and same sex marriage is the people's right. In part he is correct but in the divine scheme of things he is so wrong.
I see another president (Guatemalan) asking for "money" from the USA to solve the problem of immigration instead of seeking the face of God for wisdom on how to overcome the disparity of the people, to change the hearts of the delinquents, to give them a future and a hope, to provide the basics of clean water, food and education for all of the people. Money is not the answer. God's wisdom and guidance is the answer.
I see men, religious men, who worship Allah and believe they have a mandate to "convert" the world to their way through murder, rape and plunder. I pray for them to have an encounter with the real God in the form of Jesus Christ.
For every situation in this world God is the answer. Not the God of our flesh that says we deserve this or that, but the God in whom we find forgiveness when we repent and the Holy Spirit who will enable us to shed His love abroad.
The times are growing darker but the light of Jesus Christ is not getting dimmer. It is burning deep into the hearts of men who are praying for the day when all of Gods people will rise up in one accord in fellowship, harmony, love, and agreement that we are His people, united in love for His purposes, so that the Kingdom of God will one day dwell forever more in our hearts, minds and souls.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
I am still here!
I haven't written in a while since my mom's death last September 2013. I have been busy keeping in touch with my family. I went home in October for my yearly visit. Daniel was with me and it was good seeing family again while making my rounds at churches sharing about the ministry. I went home again in March 2014 for 10 days to celebrate my Dad's 91st birthday. I will be leaving for home again in September, in November and in January 2015….but I'm still here in Guatemala.
September I will be in Alabama, South Carolina, Virginia and Maryland sharing about the ministry. In early October before I return to Guatemala I will attend the 50th anniversary reunion of the class of 1964 of Easter High School! How time flies.
In November I will be home for 10 days to celebrate a Thanksgiving Family Reunion.
In January 2015 my daughter Lee wants me to officiate at the renewal of her vows with her husband Terrance.
I have never traveled as much since moving to Guatemala in 1995 but this is a special time in the life of my family and I need to be there more. We are closer now than we've ever been, including my dad. My mom left a hugh space in all of our lives but her leaving left us more determined to honor her memory by loving each other more. That's her heritage.
While these past months have been hard personally, the ministry still continues. I am learning to rest more and I can still see that the work does not go lacking. God is faithful! I am praying for more helpers. I have an excellent guatemalan staff in Gilma, Graciela and Andrea. What is lacking is someone who will take the reigns when I am gone. So I need prayer for interns, be they Guatemalan or North American, whom God may lead one day to oversee this ministry.
I am enjoying seeing my son Daniel (16) grow first in his relationship with the Lord, his studies and his passion as an athlete as he says "for God!"
The Lord has continued to be faithful in meeting the needs of the ministry through the donations from the states and continues to open doors for more connections. Just when I think something will go lacking, He provides the answer. Living by faith can some times be nerve wracking but when I just trust and leave the ministry in His hands I am amazed at how well he handles things. My boss leads His servants well in the path of peace! In all this I am content because He is with me.
I ask your prayers for my family especially my oldest sister Janice who is ending her treatment for breast cancer. She has been a real trooper and the prognosis is excellent. I will try to do better in communicating through this blog. Blessings to everyone, everywhere.
Love, Myra
September I will be in Alabama, South Carolina, Virginia and Maryland sharing about the ministry. In early October before I return to Guatemala I will attend the 50th anniversary reunion of the class of 1964 of Easter High School! How time flies.
In November I will be home for 10 days to celebrate a Thanksgiving Family Reunion.
In January 2015 my daughter Lee wants me to officiate at the renewal of her vows with her husband Terrance.
I have never traveled as much since moving to Guatemala in 1995 but this is a special time in the life of my family and I need to be there more. We are closer now than we've ever been, including my dad. My mom left a hugh space in all of our lives but her leaving left us more determined to honor her memory by loving each other more. That's her heritage.
While these past months have been hard personally, the ministry still continues. I am learning to rest more and I can still see that the work does not go lacking. God is faithful! I am praying for more helpers. I have an excellent guatemalan staff in Gilma, Graciela and Andrea. What is lacking is someone who will take the reigns when I am gone. So I need prayer for interns, be they Guatemalan or North American, whom God may lead one day to oversee this ministry.
I am enjoying seeing my son Daniel (16) grow first in his relationship with the Lord, his studies and his passion as an athlete as he says "for God!"
The Lord has continued to be faithful in meeting the needs of the ministry through the donations from the states and continues to open doors for more connections. Just when I think something will go lacking, He provides the answer. Living by faith can some times be nerve wracking but when I just trust and leave the ministry in His hands I am amazed at how well he handles things. My boss leads His servants well in the path of peace! In all this I am content because He is with me.
I ask your prayers for my family especially my oldest sister Janice who is ending her treatment for breast cancer. She has been a real trooper and the prognosis is excellent. I will try to do better in communicating through this blog. Blessings to everyone, everywhere.
Love, Myra
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