A year ago today my momma died...

A year ago today my momma died. I seem to be doing okay. I did cry last night, actually it was today at 1am,  but I do that any day or night. I have learned to let my tears flow whenever they like. Its not a hard sob, its just a soft warm flow that says "mi mamma" in spanish. As I write this tears are filling my eyes but that's okay because I'm learning to live with this because this is the way it is.

In January I wrote in my journal:

"I do not know how to bear this grief. It comes as a wave that washes over everything. It hovers over me like a helicopter telling me there is danger near. What danger, death?  Death is no danger when I have Christ.

What power can this grief have over me? Its a mystery. Even as I know that death is life in Christ some part of rejoices and the other part grieves over my loss. Yes, My loss! Others knew her -  my mom  -others loved her  - my mom - BUT this is my grief - personal, intimate, visible and tangible.

Lord, how do I abide -no- how do I leave this grief behind. I want so much to abide in YOU always but this grief creeps up on me and steals my joy. How do I sorrow but also rejoice? Teach me, I pray."


Eight months later the grief  does not have its power over me. The remembrance of Him storing my tears in a bottle because of His love helps me.  I can  both sorrow and rejoice with warm tears that don't tear me apart but flow as water washing over my soul. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers.

 Its still a mystery but He is the master of miraculous mysteries.

A Tribute to Sharon

My greatest supporter died the other day. She was a friend, a mother, a wife, a sister, and a strong believer in Christ. I first met her about 12 years again fresh faced and always smiling. I once saw her frown but even then there was a slight curve to her lips that said, I am always ready to smile again. She brought warmth to wherever she came. She came into my life through her sister Donna who volunteered with the Children's Home  for over a year. 

Later Sharon married and through much struggles finally started a family. What amazed me was one year she started to donate a large sum monthly to the ministry. I was blessed by her generosity but thought she may have made a year long commitment only But every year she continued and increased the amount yearly. What blessed me more than the money was the sense of encouragement she gave me  in this ministry. Those who are missionaries know the struggles we face financially and spiritually. How we rely on the caprice of others when we really need to rely on God himself. 

Sharon's anointing was not the money but the spirit of encouragement that accompanied her every action. She made me sense that God was for me and He was using her to send that message. 

She comes from a family that loves to help and encourage. Being in touch with her family always gave me hope and comfort. She exemplified that so much. She will be sorely missed by me and I know I will see that smile again. Her smile is etched on my heart.

To her family and friends I can only offer mere words of condolence but know this that the God who loves us all is in the midst of even this loss.

A World view through God's eyes

Years ago my board said I needed to have cable so that if there was an emergency in my country or in the world I would be aware of it. Never did I think that this assess to news would become such a major part of my prayer time.

I  recently changed my Face book profile picture to reflect my prayer support for Christians and other religious minorities being persecuted by Islamic terrorists. I wish there was a profile photo that could express my preoccupation with the state of our world overall.

I see in Missouri a young black man who was recently shot by a white policeman. I don't know all of the facts and have only seen snippets  of the coverage. I did see the video that I believe was him boldly facing down a store clerk over a few dollars of stolen cigars. I can also see in my imagination a young boy with his arms raised, fear in eyes,  pleading not to be shot. What a contrast!

I can see a man who is white pointing a guy at a "criminal" who was walking in the middle of the street thinking perhaps fearfully that "if let my guard down, he will overpower me, so I must shoot him like a wild animal or I'm a goner." I don't know!!

I only know that in the hearts of these two men there is an illusion of right and wrong that is not taught in the Bible. There is a scripture that simple says. "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul... Love your neighbor as yourself." Simple but so not real in this world.

I see a president, whom I did not vote for, but do pray for trying to please man while fighting against the wind on every hand. I pray for his heart to be softened and for forgiveness for his world view that abortion and same sex marriage is the people's right. In part he is correct but in the divine scheme of things he is so wrong.

I see another president (Guatemalan) asking for "money" from the USA to solve the problem of immigration instead of  seeking the face of God for wisdom on how to overcome the disparity of the people, to change the hearts of the delinquents, to give them a future and a hope, to provide the basics of clean water, food and education for all of the people. Money is not the answer. God's wisdom and guidance is the answer.

I see men, religious men, who worship Allah and believe they have a mandate to "convert" the world to their way through murder,  rape and plunder. I pray for them to have an encounter with the real God in the form of Jesus Christ.

For every situation in this world God is the answer. Not the God of our flesh that says we deserve this or that, but the God in whom we find forgiveness when we repent and the Holy Spirit who will enable us to shed His love abroad.

The times are growing darker but the light of Jesus Christ is not getting dimmer. It is burning deep into the hearts of men who are praying for the day when all of Gods people will rise up in one accord in fellowship, harmony, love, and agreement that we are His people, united in love for His purposes,  so that the Kingdom of God will one day dwell forever more in our hearts, minds and souls.

I am still here!

I haven't written in a while since my mom's death last September 2013. I have been busy keeping in touch with my family. I went home in October for my yearly visit. Daniel was with me and it was good seeing family again while making my rounds at churches sharing about the ministry. I went home again in March 2014 for 10 days to celebrate my Dad's 91st birthday. I will be leaving for home again in September, in November and in January 2015….but I'm still here in Guatemala.

September I will be in Alabama, South Carolina, Virginia and Maryland sharing about the ministry. In early October before I return to Guatemala  I will attend the 50th anniversary reunion of the class of 1964 of Easter High School! How time flies.

In November I will be home for 10 days to celebrate a Thanksgiving Family Reunion.

In January 2015 my daughter Lee wants me to officiate at the renewal of her vows with her husband Terrance.

I have never traveled as much since moving to Guatemala in 1995 but this is a special time in the life of my family and I need to be there more. We are closer now than we've ever been, including my dad. My mom left a hugh space in all of our lives but her leaving left us more determined to honor her memory by loving each other more. That's her heritage.

While these past months have been hard personally,  the ministry still continues. I am learning to rest more and I can still see that the work does not go lacking. God is faithful! I am praying for more helpers. I have an excellent guatemalan staff in Gilma, Graciela and Andrea. What is lacking is someone who will take the reigns when I am gone. So I need prayer for interns, be they Guatemalan or North American, whom God may lead one day to oversee this ministry.

I am enjoying seeing my son Daniel (16) grow first in his relationship with the Lord, his studies and his passion as an athlete as he says "for God!"

The Lord has continued to be faithful in meeting the needs of the ministry through the donations from the states and continues to open doors for more connections. Just when I think something will go lacking, He provides the answer. Living by faith can some times be nerve wracking but when I just trust and leave the ministry in His hands I am amazed at how well he handles things. My boss leads His servants well in the path of peace! In all this I am content because He is with me.

I ask your prayers for my family especially my oldest sister Janice who is ending her treatment for breast cancer. She has been a real trooper and the prognosis is excellent. I will try to do better in communicating through this blog. Blessings to everyone, everywhere.

Love, Myra

Hilda Green August 19, 1923 - September 1, 2013

My mom died today. She was 90 year old. I haven't really cried a lot. Been thinking a lot about my family especially my sister Sheila who is closer in age to me. We are five sisters. Janice, Sheila, Myra, Robin and Terry.

In Guatemala  I work with poor people who have no electricity, no water, or toilets. People who live in shacks made of tin and wood with dirt floors. People who are not always recognized by their own people as valuable. I tell them about my family history to give them hope. Today its all about my mom.

My maternal grandmother was born a slave towards the end of the civil war. She died at 100 years old in 1966. She could not read or write. Her children,  one of which was my mom's parent, were born free but could not read or write. My mother had a 12th grade education and worked as a secretary in NSA in Ft. Meade, MD. She ended her career with outstanding awards.

Her five daughters all finished High school and some studied in a junior college. Her 15 grandchildren all finished High school and some finished college and all had good jobs, homes and the majority are saved! Her 22 plus great grandchildren the majority finished college and her 10 great great grands are progressing well in school. Every generation got better. What a heritage!

I remember when I had already purchased my ticket to go to China to smuggle in Bibles back in the 80's. She was diagnosed with blockage in her veins leading to her heart and was scheduled for an emergency operation. My dad said to me " You can't go to China. People will say you have abandoned your mom." But my mom spoke up and said "Let her go. She is doing God's work." She was proud of me and that made me glad.

I remember taking vacations with them going to New York city, watching a Broadway show, eating out and hearing tales about how they met. She talked about their early years when they had their first girl, Janice. How she dressed her like a doll baby. She was their princess. She was so beautiful to them. She talked about how then came Sheila who didn't look like them at all but like her aunt. Sheila who was feisty and tried to tear my eyes out when I was born. She told me how she gave birth to me at home and how the young doctor was so proud that his first delivery was such a huge success. I weighed 9 1/2 pounds and filled the bassinet. How the neighbors came and looked at their newest child. I remember when Robin was born with dimples in her knees and how I helped to care for her as mom went off to work. She taught me how to starch and iron her ribbons and pinafores and when I had my little girl I never ironed ribbons again. I remember when Terry graduated High school and momma said "that diploma belongs to me."

I remember Christmas Eves when I was the oldest at home with two smaller siblings 11 and 13 years younger how we stayed up all night trimming the tree with ice cycles that had to be put on one by one by one until there were no spaces to be seen. She wanted everything to look perfect.

I remember rising on Saturdays, the day I wanted to sleep in, having to do my chores from washing clothes, hanging them out on the line, polishing furniture, vacuuming,  but not alone working side by side with her making our home neat and clean and presentable.

I remember taking her out to lunches after she retired and always introducing her to my friends. She was so happy because she was being acknowledged. Old age makes us some times feel useless but not my mom. She has always been a special woman.

She was a working mom from the time I was five. She did the best she could to teach us to follow her example. A woman who seldom if ever raised her voice. A woman who dressed with style and taste. A woman who kept a fine house. A woman who was a faithful companion to her husband of nearly 71 years. My mom, my friend, my lunch buddy, my reading companion, my heart. I am crying now.

"Sometimes I Cry"

The past two weeks have been especially challenging and with each challenge I stoutly said "God has the answer!"...but today was different, I just wanted to cry. I thought I had had enough. I was wrong. As I prayed with my son tonight I suddenly started to tear and cry even as I continued to pray. After I had finished he prayed and the Lord moved. It seems that we both have been in a battle and some of it was between us. I did not realize how hurt I was as I stood strong with him during the week about an issue. He acknowledged in prayer that even though he did not like my advise he knew in his heart that he was struggling and needed to heed my words. I then remembered how I can walk through things and be strong and when its over that's when I cry.

So, not only the challenge between my son and I is ended,  but all of the other  challenges I have faced  are coming to an end in Christ Jesus!

Some good things have happened. The last few weeks I have been teaching on Sunday in English and my son has been translating in Spanish? It was his idea. The comments have been impressive from old and young alike, not about my teaching,  but about his translating and how they understand the teaching.

Last Sunday a couple accepted Christ and one young woman was reconciled to Christ!

More people are attending the church services!

My 90 year old mom came home from the hospital and both parents have someone who is taking care of them at home!

In our pig project one of the ladies has sold her pig. She had raised it to a good size and weight.  She came by and gave me her tithe for the profit she had made off of the sale. She now plans to buy two pigs with the money.

I realize that I am only human and my natural self needs to expel the stress and bother of the challenges that arise. I love the song "Sometimes I Cry". It tell about a Christian who believes and stands in God but sometimes cries. Its healthy and cleansing and some of the crying is for joy.

Everything was in order

"Heal me Oh God and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved."

Jeremiah 

Sixty five has really kicked me in the rear end. My body has gone through some major changes. My sugar levels which had been under control via diet for years became unstable. My pressure which had notoriously been low rose and refused to lower. I am now on medication for both. 

One night,  after 10 episodes of vomiting and not being able to sleep due to  pain, at 3:30 AM I went to a local private hospital for  some relief... a needle or some medicine. What I received was an operation. One hundred or so stones were removed from my body as well as my gallbladder. The doctor, unbeknownst to me, was a specialist in gallbladder laser surgery. Within 5 hours of my arrival,  I was in surgery and 32 hours later I was home. Some of the stones were the size of a ping pong ball, but God....guided me to the best hospital and the best doctor to solve my problem and literally save my life.

It reminds me of another occasion when God had every thing in oder to meet a special need. Daniel and I made a day trip with some friends when he was about 4 years old. Previously he had shown signs of allergic reaction to bee stings,  but only in the area affected. That day we were at a  pool and I had glanced away from him for a moment and suddenly heard him cry. When I approached him I saw a pair of black rimmed wings pinched between his finger.

I forced his fingers open and saw 2 or 3 red bite marks on the finger. Suddenly his face and eyes became puffy and his cheeks streaked with red lines. I always carried benedryl because I also had allergic reactions to bites. I forced the pill down his throat and his symptoms calmed but only for a few moments. Suddenly his cheeks flared red again and his face and eyes swelled more than before.

It was a Sunday where usually no doctor can be found in the public hospitals in rural areas of Guatemala. We were not in our town but two hours away in another location. The bus driver of the excursion quickly and easily found a doctor at his home having dinner who generously opened his clinic to care for my son. 

On the way home, as I held my sleeping son with his still slightly puffy eyes and face, asked, "God, why did this happen? He could have died." He spoke to my heart and answered "Myra, I had everything in order to meet your every need".

How good is That! There is none good as God. 

As it was with my little Daniel so many years ago, so it was with me on June 21st when my need arose...He had everything perfectly in order! God is good!

                                                      After surgery photo

                                                         My gallbladder stones!